Grief Words that Help_Hurt

General Counseling
Research Based Strategies to Help Children Develop Self Control from MindShift
The Question You Should Ask if Your Teen or Tween is Having a Friendship Problem
What do we mean by ‘normal’?
How to Help Teens and Tweens Manage Social Conflict
Soy Yo (and the translation)

Sexting & Sex Education
Teaching Sex Education – Kim Marshall
How to Talk to Kids about Sex
What Your Teen Wishes You Knew About Sex Education from NPR

  • is aimed at teenagers and emerging adults.
  • Heather Corinna’s most recent book is S.E.X.
  • Amaze animated videos are especially good for 10- to 13-year-olds. Topics range from puberty to sexually transmitted infections.
  • is a comprehensive sex education website.
  • Six Minute Sex Ed is a podcast for parents, teachers and caring adults.
Disrespect No Body (resources from the UK)

Resources for Teachers – Sexting

Talking Points: Sexting (the three videos here could be a good starting place)

Consent at Every Age (HGSE)

This Is How One Teacher Is Teaching Consent, And People Love It (BuzzFeed, yes, I know, not the most reliable of sources… but it has some good ideas)

Talking to Kids About Sex in the Age of #MeToo

Make Cyberspace a Better Place – Sexting

Sexual Consent & Tea


Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Porn

How to Talk to Your Daughters About Porn Today

Fight the New Drug

Drugs & Alcohol

Ten Tips for [Alcohol Abuse] Prevention for Parents (National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence)
Marijuana – Facts Parents Need to Know (National Institute on Drug Abuse)
21 Chump Street

Oxford High School begin project called ’13 Reasons Why Not’

Suicide Resources
U.S. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 001-800-273-TALK (8255)
India Suicide Hotline (Aasra): 022-27546669
South Korea Suicide Helpline: +82-2-715 8600
Preventing Youth Suicide: Tips for Parents and Educators
Preventing Youth Suicide: Brief Facts
Save a Friend: Tips for Teens to Prevent Suicide
Step Up Program (Depression and suicide awareness and prevention)

Suicide Warning Signs (source:

  • Suicide threats, both direct and indirect. For example, “I’m going to kill myself” or “I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up”). Threats can be verbal or written, and are often found in online postings.
  • Giving away prized possessions.
  • Preoccupation with death in conversation, writing, drawing, and social media.
  • Changes in behavior, appearance/hygiene, thoughts, and/or feelings.
  • Emotional distress.

Guidance for Families (source:

  • Ask your child if they have heard or seen the series 13 Reasons Why. While we don’t recommend that they be encouraged to view the series, do tell them that if they do want to watch it, that you want to watch it with them and then discuss the movie.
  • If your child exhibits any of the warning signs above, don’t be afraid to ask if they have thought about suicide or if someone is hurting them. Raising the issue of suicide does not increase the risk or plan the idea. On the contrary, it creates the opportunity to offer help.
  • As your child if they think any of their friends or classmates exhibit warning signs. Talk to them about how to seek help for their friend or classmate. Guide them on how to respond when they see or hear any of the warning signs.
  • Listen to your child’s comments without judgement. Doing so requires that you fully concentrate, understand, respond, and then remember what is being said. Put your own agenda aside.
  • Get help from a school-employed or community-based mental health professional if you are concerned for your child’s safety or the safety of one of their peers.

13 Reasons Why Talking Points (adapted from

  • You may have similar experiences and thoughts as some of the characters in the series. People often identify with characters they see on TV or in movies. However, it is important to remember that there are healthy ways to cope with the topics covered in 13 Reasons Why and acting on suicidal thoughts is not one of them.
  • If you have watched the show and feel like you need support or someone to talk to, reach out. Talk with a friend, family member, a counselor, or a therapist. There is always someone who will listen.
  • Suicide is not a common response to life’s challenges or adversity. The vast majority of people who experience bullying, the death of a friend, or any other adversity described in the series do not die by suicide. In fact, most reach out, talk to others and seek help or find productive ways of coping. They go on to lead healthy, normal lives.
  • Suicide is never a heroic or romantic act. Hannah’s suicide (although fictional) is a cautionary tale, not meant to appear heroic and is more appropriately viewed as a tragedy.
  • It is important to know that, in spite of the portrayal of a serious treatment failure in the series, there are many treatment options for life challenges, distress, and mental illness. Treatment works.
  • How the school counselor in 13 Reasons Why responds to Hannah’s thoughts of suicide is not appropriate and not typical of most counselors. If your experience with a school counselor is unhelpful, seek other sources of support such as a crisis line.
  • When you die you do not get to make a movie or talk to people any more. Leaving message from beyond the grave is a dramatization produced in Hollywood and is not possible in real life.
  • Memorializing someone who died by suicide is not a recommended practice. Decorating someone’s locker who died by suicide and/or taking selfies in front of such a memorial is not appropriate and does not honor the life of the person who died by suicide.
  • Hannah’s tapes blame others for her suicide. Suicide is never the fault of survivors of suicide loss. There are resources and support groups for suicide loss survivors.

Grief counseling Resources

Grief Words that Help Hurt




Dead and grief
Helping your child deal with death
Getting help for intense grief

The Dog Isn’t Sleeping: How to Talk to Children About Death NPR